friend: what are your plans for the weekend
me: who knows
me: (i know)
me: (i'm not leaving the house)
sassminsterabbey: gigatrix: sassminsterabbey: weaponsandtranquility: sassminsterabbey: party hosting 101: replace your drinking alcohol with methyl alcohol and then watch all your guests go blind, have seizures, puke and eventually die. this here is why bloggers can’t host parties. what made you think i wanted my guests to have a good time OH MY GOD xD you are going to write me...
a-tardis-full-of-fandoms: stardust-and-petrichor: I guess you could say the Doctor’s gravestone is… Dead Sexy.
Tumblr app: I'm done loading
Me: but what about all these blank pictures and gifs
Tumblr app: did I fucking stutter
fake-mermaid: theanti90smovement: there is no reason for one person to have a billion dollars unless that one person is me
I love how Tumblr is mostly just fandoms fucking...
full-time-avenger: elzahchan: tomkittyston:
jimmyjamjimjohn: rubywhiterabbit: One day we’ll be in a Marvel movie, sitting there as something doesn’t feel right. and as the credits start to roll we’ll know what it is. It will flash up on screen and our hearts will break. “In loving memory of Stan Lee”. There was no cameo in that movie. And there never will be again.
the-adequate-gatsby: It’s 3 am You hear a noise in your kitchen You go to investigate It’s me sitting at your table I ask you to sit down “I want to know why you though that comment on my post was necessary.”
morgrana: in-the-village-of-derwyn: morgrana: morgrana: for every popular text post you reblog there is a crying blogger on the other side drowning in notifications DON’T YOU DARE you know you secretly like it
thenaebyrd777: inhalers: tips for flirting: carve your number into a potato and roll it towards eligible females you wish to court with the fact that this would work on me has me concerned
thatmovieandtheatregeek: piewinchesters: The problem with Les Miserables is you can say it wrong and sound like a douche or you can say it right and sound like a douche I have never found something so accurate in my life
thedramaticsneeze: hoshigumayuugi: i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS
Anonymous asked: The R5 tickets for London are already sold out, sorry =(!
riddlemetom: don’t you think that the fact that women’s menstruation synchronizes when they live together is like natures way of accepting and adapting to homosexuality? it’s like hey ok you’re gay that’s cool here i’m gonna let you have your period at the same time so you don’t lose valuable sexytime
We are the generation of nostalgia. We grew up in the age of transition. From...– This is the best/truest thing I’ve read in so long (via thesleepingfawn) But this explains the 90s kids (via thebbcisslowlykillingme)
hitlervevo: sherwat: chrissykilljoybitchtits: inc-omparable: im-fandoomed: hitlervevo: why the fuck cant we text the police lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you Here in Canada you can Here in England we just… scream and run Here in Scotland...
iwilleatyourenglish: iwilleatyourenglish: once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the...
they-call-me-wonder-woman: h0odrich: It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth This speaks to me on a deep emotional level.
drarna: “i’m okay with gay people but i don’t think bisexuality is a real thing”
fakeyouout: “money doesn’t buy happiness” let me test this hypothesis
goodluck-beccasdq: lindseyintheskywithdiamonds: thats-blaine: The Hunger Games: Dedicates half a chapter to legs shaving, kills Finnick in half a sentence. Isn’t that how life is, though? We can waste countless minutes stressing and focusing our attention on meaningless things while in an infinitesimal fraction of that time a life can be taken. Whoa girl. Too deep for me.
castiel-is-wonderful: sionainnlindsay: castiel-is-wonderful: WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S LIKE BELONGING TO MR OMG Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no. This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank...
this is a follower appreciation post because if you think about it when 1 person follows you it’s not just a number it’s like a whole real person who breathes and eats and hits its pinky toe into furniture i mean it has legs and everything DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH OF A BIG DEAL IT IS
just-laff: egberts: if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket you are one of the great thinkers of our time
my mom: you do realize that one day you will have to pay for all your own things
me: yes but today is not that day
rneerkat: saladbrain: rneerkat: this is whats going to make me tumblr famous the blogger thinks as they comment “this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for” on 53 different text posts this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for why didnt i see this coming
stillwatersofconsciousness: radish is a really accurate name for a vegetable because they’re pretty cool but they’re not that cool